Noticing the rousing response o the other day’s lesson in the peculiarities of English vocabulary, I have decided to make it a regular feature, regular, by definition, meaning “whenever Jayson finds or remembers a phrase or word that appeals to his aesthetic ideals OR current station in life.”
And so, you ask, what the hell is today’s word? Got another shocking demonstration of the depth of your English savantry?
Wait, you’re telling me savantry isn’t, in fact, a word? Dammit, there goes…
No, I have prevailed!
Today’s word, is, of course, happened. As in, “that coal mine was the best thing that ever happened to the dirty, meth-infected town,” or “Big Anthony was the best thing that ever happened to dear old Strega Nona.”
Absurdist that I am, I’m amused by the idea of a person happening to another, in much the same way that growth happens to hair or syphilis happened to the founding fathers.
Happening also seems, by definition, (and I looked this one up in a reliable dictionary,) to (typically) require a certain element of chance. I find this going, accidentally, in much the same direction as my previous entry…
Irregardless!
Big Anthony, in example, did not just swing by Strega Nona’s secluded hilltop cabin one balmy Italian afternoon and receive just any old servant job, Big Anthony was the result of a painstaking set of interviews, violent interrogations, and gentle, peasant-esque research.
And women like Strega Nona don’t just happen to a bumbling idiot like Big Anthony! I mean really, someone like her needing someone like him? She must have really, really been needing companionship desperately at the point when his application process began!
Psshhh…Like Big Anthony ever had a damn thing on Strega Nona…She was all, “oh, I’m a witch, I can do everything you do for me, I can fix everything you screw up accidentally all by my damn self, and yet, you’re still here, you dirty bastard. You know why? Because I’m a lonely girl with no siblings and nothing but this damn windswept cabin on the top of this damn hill. Yeah. That’s it.”
Thus, or lesson for today happens to come to an end.
Happened.
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3 comments:
Interesting.
And Strega Nona is AWESOME
you and your words...
you and your wonderful ability to analyze the english language is the best thing that happened to blogger!
and i totally went to spell that with two n's. always do that...gah (>.<)
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